Written by anthonyrosania
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Thursday, 5 May 2011

image for Opinionated Bloggers Invent MLK, Jr. Quotes To Oppose Osama Slaying

In the hours following Osama bin Laden's unscheduled eye surgery at the hands of elite Navy SEALS, anti-anti-Osama bloggers who rode the short yellow bus to Facebook to blog ad nauseum about perceived "injustices" the mass-murderer suffered used right-on-point quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr. to bolster their arguments.

Unfortunately, the quotes were complete and total bullsh-t.

"Yeah, Martin Luther King never said it," said a Facebook spokesperson. "In fact, Facebook is of the opinion that, were Dr. King still alive, he'd be thrilled that bin Laden got drilled in the eye! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

In fact, the only MLK quote that this writer could find that was even close is the sentence, "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

News of the fake quote has not stopped Facebook Fiends from pounding their keyboards like overweight, unemployed chimps, banging out all sorts of dubious famous-dead-guy quotes:


My wife hands me a f--king apple to eat. An APPLE! So, rather than complain, I eat the thing. Ten minutes later, I'm killing a moose for clothing and looking up "Nod, East of Eden" in Google Maps.

--- Adam (??-??), First human created by God.

"Nein, you a--holes, nein! I said 'we should kill six million moos,' meaning cows. Well, no harm, no foul. I mean, we haven't killed anyone yet, right? WHAT?!? Oh. Oh, no. Oh, that's bad."
--- Adolf Hitler

Facebook has apologized for allowing these quotes to be published, and offers a full 72 hours free of ridiculous changes to it's user interface.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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