Rawalpindi - The $500 note was found tucked inside a surgical support garment along with Pizza Hut and Spearmint Rhino phone numbers, Our Man in Kabulshit said today.
The Victoria's Secret satin-lined truss had kept Old Binny's back upright for nearly a year while everything else was flaccid and limp.
It's now riddled with bullet holes and reeks of sulphur.
CIA cryptographers working on decryptions said today they were hoping to find Bin Laden's Goldman Sux bank account numbers.
Instead a call to Rawalpindi six-six-six-nine-eleven conneted them to a gay brothel selling pizza as a wholesome sideline.
Secret codewords like 'I'll have the side-order of faggots and mash' were to have triggered another lunacy around the time of the Cancer solar eclipse in June.
The $500 note may have been a forgery.