Washington, D.C - The U.S. military has now issued an update on the Bin Laden raid. According to high sources, Bin Laden was not located in Pakistan but was found attending a university in the United States as an engineering student. Due to the high numbers of foreign students who attend schools in the US, he was easily able to blend right in, totally unnoticed for the past 10 years.
A shocked student says, "I just thought he was a guy from somewhere. I didn't know where. I don't ask questions, I just go to school."
One student says Bin Laden asked her out for a date, but she didn't like his "sketchy" looks.
"I thought he seemed a bit old to be a student here, but who am I to question? I see a lot of weirdos on campus. But I sure am glad I didn't go to the Burger King with him, now that I know who he actually was."
An outraged neighborhood and community is asking a lot questions as to how Bin Laden gained admittance to a U.S. university.
An unnamed spokesman for the University said, "It's pretty easy, actually. He submitted his transcripts, he made good grades, so he was in. We don't believe in violating a student's privacy or their rights. Students have rights, you know."
The University has no plans to tighten up their screening procedures just because the world's most hunted terrorist and criminal Osama Bin Laden gained admittance and was on their campus for a decade, "hiding" in plain view and jeopardizing the very lives and security of millions.
"If we do that, a lot of really nice and wonderful people won't be able to attend our school, and that's not what a university is all about. You have to take the bad with the good, right?"
The students, who are used to such remarks, said they will take it in stride and go on with life as per usual.
"Well, at least he's dead now and won't ever be able to get into another US university again, no matter how good his grades are."