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Tuesday, 3 May 2011

image for Pakistan thought Bin laden's house was their Presidential White House equivalent
Mr Bin Liner's small, anonymous house in Pakistan

The Pakistani Home Office Minister, Fatima Chipfryeur, said today that the fact Mr Bin Liner was living in a massive compound roughly eight times larger than other homes in the area in the medium-sized city of Abbottabad, itself home to a large Pakistani military base and a military academy of the Pakistani Army, was purely co-incidental.

And the lies issued about Mr Bin Liner using his wife as a shield could see the Americans being taken to the Human Rights Commission for inferring the 34-stone Mrs Bin Liner was fat enough to hide behind.

Miss Chipfryeur said that irrespective of whether Mr Bin Liner was a terrorist or murderer, to expect anyone to live in a cave for a decade was just not what Human Rights was all about. And when it came to loyalty cards, renewing car insurance, Sky TV or even taking out a BombDay loan (the Al Queda equivalent of a 2000% pay-day loan in the UK), it would be totally unacceptable for Mr Bin laden to have to fill in his application form address as "The Cave, Pakistani Hills, Asia".

Miss Chipfryeur concluded that as the owner of the huge compound had ticked the database protection box on any literature that was posted or handed in, they had to respect that, and while they hadn't the smallest inkling that it was owned by Mr Bin Liner, even though his wife and children were seen on regular shopping trips and bombing missions in and around the area, they hadn't the faintest idea that he was there.

Anyway, the name of the house deeds and the Pakistani Council Tax forms was "Mr John Smith and nothing to do with the Bin Liner family", so how could they for a moment suspect it might be Mr Bin Liner. "We honestly thought it was just the president's summer house - a sort of White House in the country.

"So we never asked."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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