Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Tuesday, 3 May 2011

image for Susan Boyle Arrested at al-Qaeda Compound in Pakistan
Some Of Susan Boyle's Weapons

Itsallagame, Pakistan-- Singer Susan Boyle was arrested by US Navy Seals during the raid at the bin Laden compound in Pakistan last week. The surprising arrest shocked everyone--apparently Susan has been a member of al-Qaeda for many, many years.

Terrorism experts believe she was the head of the European branch of al-Qaeda, and sent secret messages to other members through her songs. Right now, Susan is on the way to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba for some serious water-boarding.

Navy Seals say Susan put up quite a fight on the night of her arrest. Susan launched a few grenades at the Seals when they first attacked the compound. She also fired several bursts from a machine gun to defend herself. When Susan was disarmed, she attacked the Navy Seals with judo, kung fu and karate. It took five of the burly Navy Seals just to hold Susan down, and put her in restraints.

Susan was also arrested wearing nothing more than a see-through nightie. Nude photos of Susan were also discovered on bin Laden's computer. Investigators believe Susan and bin Laden have been lovers since at least 2001. Whips, chains, and other S/M paraphernalia were also discovered at the compound.

When a Navy Seal shouted a question to Susan about why she did it, she gave a quick response:

"Everyone treated me like crap when I was growing up! It was my revenge! I wish I had 1,000 nuclear bombs to kill you all!" she growled before being taken away.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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