The Netherlands - At precisely noon tomorrow, depending on what time noon arrives where you live, oil will officially stop production. While it had been previously thought there was one or two weeks of oil left, there really wasn't.
A spokesman for Big Oil International said, "We realize this is really short notice, but there's only about five more barrels of oil left in the ground. We'll pump that out today so that Prince William and Kate will have enough to get to their honeymoon, but after that, we're dry."
People of every country, in all parts of the world, everywhere there are human beings, were advised to make that one last trip to the grocery store, doctor or drug pusher to get supplies before the oil is gone tomorrow.
Starting tomorrow, everyone will be back to walking on foot to their destinations or riding a bike if you've got one.
"We're very sorry for this sudden end to the Industrial Age. In a week or two we will return to the Hunter-Gatherer Age. Ages can change really quick, and that's just the way it is. Our apologies."
Parents were strongly advised to pick up their children from school and let them know that world civilization, as they had known it since birth, will be changing tomorrow at noon.
One parent in the United States said, "I really wish we'd had more notice about this. Thanks a lot, 24 hours notice. Typical!"