We have conflicting reports today about Osama Bin Laden's death. Jubilant Americans have rejoiced outside the White House.
This report has been retracted. It is now reported from a very reliable source that Osama Bin Laden has been seen outside Elvis Presley's Mansion singing "Coombaya" with Michael Jackson and his old friend Elizabeth Taylor.
Elizabeth was reported to be wearing heavy make-up a white dress with a diamanté clasp at the breastbone. Her hair was heavy with dye.
Michael, wanting to make an impression, wore military dress, holding a Monkey named Dynamite which exploded.
On being asked what he thought of the situation occurring here, Elvis could only say "Thank-you-very-much. Thank-you-very-much."
Long live the King!