London - The desperate soundbite grab of shameless self-publicists scaling the attention ladder.
That's how Omar Jelban, disgraced Libyan Ambassador to the Caught of St James's, described the latest conspiracy theory.
This sees delayed gratification for William and Kate's honeymoon amid a Colonel Gaddafi plot 'to nuke them in Niagra Falls'.
"A jumped-up non entity with a self-starved accomplice," Mr Jelban described the newlywed pair as Foreign Secretary William Hague gave him his marching orders today.
"F**k off, Jelban," Hague retorted, "we don't want your sort round here."
"F**k off yourself, apostate scum, may your gargoyle wife's bosoms poison your spawn," the Ambassador replied, a stickler for traditional diplomacy-speak.
Pippa Middleton is still 69.