Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 1 May 2011

image for William assassination plot largely self-inflicted says Libyan Ambassador
Palace spin doctors probably behind the latest bomb plot bid

London - The desperate soundbite grab of shameless self-publicists scaling the attention ladder.

That's how Omar Jelban, disgraced Libyan Ambassador to the Caught of St James's, described the latest conspiracy theory.

This sees delayed gratification for William and Kate's honeymoon amid a Colonel Gaddafi plot 'to nuke them in Niagra Falls'.

"A jumped-up non entity with a self-starved accomplice," Mr Jelban described the newlywed pair as Foreign Secretary William Hague gave him his marching orders today.

"F**k off, Jelban," Hague retorted, "we don't want your sort round here."

"F**k off yourself, apostate scum, may your gargoyle wife's bosoms poison your spawn," the Ambassador replied, a stickler for traditional diplomacy-speak.

Pippa Middleton is still 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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