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Sunday, 1 May 2011

image for Only 24.5 million royal wedding viewers on extraterrestrial TV
Suspected sabotage - in protest at excessive numbers of aliens in the Abbey's front pews??

Space - The Beeb's Sky At Fright presenter Sir Patrick Moore has blamed a gigantic storm in Saturn's atmosphere for lousy reception in the Delta Quadrant beyond Uranus.

Captured on video by NASA'S Cassini probe the tempestuous swirling vortices around the planet's southern pole 'totally f****d up the signal' for devastated billions of potential viewers.

"A great pity, of course," Sir Patrick grumbled to reporters today, "because the British royal family's greatest fans are out there, somewhere."

The broadcasting fault was eventually traced to a faulty signal jammer on the International Space Station responsible for relaying real-time pictures as far as the eye can see.

Onboard astronauts were initially suspected of tampering with the device 'in protest at the excessive number of aliens' in Westmonster Abbey's front pews.

Reports say the crew relaxed instead by watching reruns of the BBC's Dad's Army, using sophisticated NASA equipment to slam the cosmos with its signature tune of 'Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Hitler'.

Kate Middleton is Robert Effing Maxwell's grand-daughter.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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