Written by IN SEINE
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Topics: Pope, Beatification

Sunday, 1 May 2011

image for Pope John Paul II Scandal: Body Substituted
Just after dawn, the crowds are gathering in St Peter's Basillica

As hundreds of thousands (vermicelli) of people gathered in St Peter's Square (the Vatican estimate numbers are to be over 1 million) today, to see the beatification of Pope John Paul II and, no one could have made this one up! This has got to be one of the greatest hoaxes of all time.

The body of his Holiness was exhumed from a crypt under St Peter's basilica on Friday. When the coffin was opened it was discovered that there was no body. This has only ever happened once before in history. That was reputed to have happened to Jesus Christ at what is called a resurrection. Pope Benedict was said to be horrified and lost for words that in fact he was so lost for words that he could not speak to the world's media.

However, one of his most trusted Cardinals was able to report to In Seine News: "imagine the scene; we open up the coffin and there's no body. What do we do? What do we say? How can way explain this? It was just then that his Holiness had some divine inspiration and told me to follow him into another crypt. We managed to prise open another coffin and which was of a similar age and in this one there was a skeleton (make no bones about it!) and so we took the bones and placed them carefully in the coffin of John Paul II. It was then that the Pope told me that no one must know. "It's our little secret." he said."

The unamed, trusted Cardinal has now been excommunicated from the Catholic Church and has since disappeared. Seems this John Paul thing is catching on!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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