Written by Hydrogen Balloon
Print this

Sunday, 1 May 2011

image for Pope Beatifies John Lennon And Paul McCartney
Almost A Saint

Vatican City-- A very stoned Pope Benedict XVI has just beatified rock legends John Lennon and Paul McCartney by mistake. The stoner pope smoked too much weed before the ceremony, and confused John and Paul with Pope John Paul II. The beatification ceremony makes both musicians eligible for sainthood at a later date.

It didn't seem to matter to the pope that neither John or Paul were Roman Catholics, or that Paul is still alive.

"Well Paul looks dead. Only dead people have orange hair like that." said Pope Benedict. "And they were both more popular than Jesus, at least for a short time, so I think they deserve it."

The pope smoked some more weed, and then decided that his 'mistake' was inspired by Heaven, and he wouldn't reverse his decision.

"I'm infallible, you know." he stated, as he exhaled a giant plume of gray smoke. "Besides, 'Rubber Soul and 'Sgt. Pepper' were two of the biggest miracles of the last century. So there!" he exclaimed.

The stoner pope, or the 'poper stone' as he is also known, decided to save the beatification of Pope John Paul II for another day.

"Who cares about some old dead guy from Poland??" he said. "What did he ever sing??"

Make Hydrogen Balloon's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

3 20 16 24
75 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more