Rome - The Vatican has hijacked Sunday's pagan New Year's Day to beatify a monster exhumed in a public freakshow.
United Grand Coven sources said today veneration of the six year-old corpse - and a 'sacred' vile (sic) of his blood - is typical of Vatican necromancy scams.
Tomorrow's macabre rite will see Karol Wojtyla's remains paraded through St Peter's Square - as mesmerised masses throw 'lucky' gold sovereigns at the Papal entourage escorting the coffin.
"Serves them right if the Great May Queen decides to smite them down with one of her thunderbolts," a British Ex-Altar Boys
Union rep told reporters at lunchtime.
"A bloody desecration is what I call it."
Sunday ominous astrological aspects also warn of the Goddess' ire as pagans prepare to celebrate the May Queen's return.
Venus slugging it out with Saturn in an Aries/Libra clash is typical of the struggle against patriarchal humbug, London coven sources said.
And Moon/Mercury and Mars/Jupiter conjunctions accompanying the aspect could be the last straw.
The televised noon ritual has Vatican big wigs predicting it will be 'even more popular than the royal wedding'.
It's to be screened live on the UK's Humbug Channel.