Written by j.w.
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Saturday, 30 April 2011

The current Pope Benedict has hit back at critics who say he needs a spectacular like the Royal Wedding to get even bigger crowds and TV exposure than a future head of the Church of England.

Unable to stage a similar marriage (at least in public) the Pope has hit on the next best thing. He's establishing that the previous Pope Paul II was a miracle man. This has resulted in exhuming his coffin prior to something called a beatification. It is difficult making a dead person beautiful but that is where miracles come in.

With just one more miracle cure needed before Pope Paul becomes a Saint the hunt is on for another person who been cured due to Pope Paul's Potion.

The betting currently is that another miracle will be found but traditionalist Catholics think this discovery should not come too quickly. The present Pope thinks it cannot come fast enough. His popularity rating is fairly low and he needs a booster soon.

Unfrocked Catholics heretically visiting Doctors for cures rather than waiting for a miracle from the Pope are being exiled to Sicily to be cared for by the Mafia, who will always do favours for the Holy Ones.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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