Pakistani government leaders today blamed the recent earthquakes and aftershocks on American President George Bush. Said government spokesman Abdul Cabezaconrag "the President of the United States is responsible for the two hurricanes that devistated his southeast coast. He is also responsible for the earthquakes that have destroyed much of my country. I'm not sure how, but I think it has something to do with a global warming thing he was supposed to sign a few years ago and didn't."
Americans and others around the world have already rushed to the aid of the millions stricken and left homeless in this year's latest natural disaster. One man unloading a plane full of Red Cross supplies agreed to be interviewed on the record. "Sure, Bush is responsible for this," said Arvin Nimwit of Liberal, California. "If the Supreme Court hadn't given him that election in Florida five years ago, I'd be sitting on my patio sipping martinis right now while President Gore invented something new to equal his creation of the internet."
Another American on the scene was spooning out food in a soup kitchen in Islamabad. "Bush responsible? Not likely," said Edgar Stroudham of Wichita, Kansas. "It is a natural disaster. Their called natural disasters because they are caused by nature. And just who is it that thinks he is Mother Nature's buddy? That idiot, Al Gore. It was him and his liberal buddies that caused all these people to die and get homeless just so they could push through some other stupid pork barrel social program to dive up gas prices and take money away from rich, hard working Americans."
"I'm not going to say that Bush was or wasn't responsible for the destruction," said Hillary Clinton, former First Lady and expected Democratic Party nominee in 2008. "When we last had a member of my party in the White House, we didn't have this earthquake. When we last had a Democrat in the Oval Office, we didn't have a Hurricane Rita. Under our watch, there was not Hurricane Katrina to destroy New Orleans. You just think about that when you go to the polls."