After his annual crucifixion (or non?) and two day later resurrection it seems that Jesus, after 2011 years, is sick of Jerusalem.
After they chopped him down, put him in his tomb and rolled the stone in front the whole world prayed (apart from Muslims, they just love the holidays!) and hoped that Jesus would resurrect, hide until Christmas, be born again so people can enjoy their annual, decadent indulgences as usual.
Well it seems he is sick to death of the over indulgent bullshit surrounding his amazing chapter in history and decided he also wanted a piece of the action.
After this years resurrection he jumped on a Ryan Air plane heading towards New York (times are hard even if you're the son of God) and landed on Monday morning at JFK airport.
Orthodox Jews were so shocked they were seen cutting off their beards and twiddly things as they witnessed Jesus walking up and down 5th Avenue with an Easter Bunny or two on both arms (the Hefner breed) shopping!
A beggar walked up to him and asked him to perform a miracle, but Jesus gently replied; "sorry no time, I've got other things on my mind?"
The question in the Vatican is now being raised; will Jesus return to do his duties by Christmas or not?
Catholics and other Christians were last seen in their millions on their knees praying that Jesus has bought a return ticket!