Japan - After numerous attempts to create "Real Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," Americans are now asking Japan to do it for them. Japan constantly refuses the request to make them.
In one letter, Cindy Jilop, who still works at Pizza Hut at the age of 25, wrote "Come on, you have the technology and excess radiation to make one. Why can't you just make one?"
Japan has reached out to FedEx and the United States Postal Service and asked them to not send any letters with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle stamp or ones with a drawing of one poorly drawn in crayon.
A poll was sent out to Americans in the mail last week by the United States government asking "Would you be fine with outsourcing the project to China instead of Japan?"
89% responded with the check box marked as "No, they'll just F**K it up, and I don't want it cheaply made so it can be bought at Walmart."
The Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, stated "If we do get these turtles, they will be treated as soldiers and not weapons."
Japan has recently declined the offer for $4.5 Trillion dollars, but admitted that it would negotiate the project for a little more money.