Written by P.M. Wortham
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Friday, 22 April 2011

image for Chef Duff Delivers Royal Wedding Cake

Originally chosen by Kate Middleton based on her love of the hit American reality show "Ace of Cakes", Chef Duff, master pastry chef and cake specialist will be delivering his creation just in time for the ceremony.

Having designed cakes for the Hollywood, business and political elite, Chef Duff, owner of Charm City Cakes, "Ace of Cakes" has become world famous for his innovative and classical designs. The award winning pastry chef was reportedly honored and humbled to have been asked to do this design.

Following an original interview session with the couple-to-be months ago, Chef Duff was told to "take a free hand" in what would be an exclusive and one-of-a-kind design for the wedding, allowing plenty of time now to work through proposed design elements in the cake.

The cake design was a secret, but after scurrying around back of the bakery and rooting through the trash, several drawings were found that clearly showed Chef Duff's intentions. Scenes of Miss Middleton's youth were depicted on the lower tier of the cake including her affinity for the stage, while the next tier featured Prince William and his horse engaged in a polo match, one of the Prince's favorite activities. The cake topper was actually a functioning but edible rescue helicopter that Prince William is currently training on, and according to the drawings, will elevate up and down on the cake by nearly a foot.

The Queen was reportedly not amused, but Chef Duff responded to the unauthorized publication of his discarded drawings by disclosing that it would have been a surprise gift for the couple, only to be used at the dress rehearsal dinner. The actual wedding cake would be a classic white layer design with all the frills and decorations befitting a royal event. Chef Duff apparently lied.

The East Coast pastry chef was spotted coming off a private charter jet at Heathrow with the cake in tow, and it looked to be anything but a classic white tiered cake. One layer appeared to be done in military camouflage, while another looked to be done in neon green with pink glitter.

Much like the events leading up to the wedding, the cake is expected to drive serious media interest, as well as its own share of eruptive criticism. Though Chef Duff was warned not to anger the queen, his assistant on the flight was heard to have commented, "Let her eat cake. No, seriously. Let them all eat cake. It's quite good, actually".

No word yet if Chef Duff and his assistant have been released from prison at Scotland Yard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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