Vatican officials today angrily refuted an internet rumour that a total of 820 meat feast pizzas, 200 porcetta sandwiches, and 400 portions of suckling pig have been ordered for a Good Friday meat-up in the Vatican Museums.
"This is a nasty unfounded rumour," Cardinal Vito Corleone snapped. "There will be no 'meat feast' - we are Christians with a deep respect for the scarifices the Good Lord made on our behalf. To that end, it is forbidden for Roman Catholics to consume meat products on Good Friday. We shall be having fish pie and mashed potatoes in a bechamel sauce with garden peas, as we always do. Apart from the British Cardinals, who will be having cod and chips with either mushy peas or curry sauce. These so-called jokes sicken me to the very core."
Of course this is not the first time the Vatican has been subjected to malicious Good Friday dietary internet hoaxes, with previous tricksters, including the BBC alleging that the traditional Good Friday Vatican diet included black puddings and pork n apple sausages, back in 1986.
Following a full English breakfast, and a mixed grill for brunch.
"If we really ate all that stuff, we'd be dead fat," said one slightly chubby Cardinal.