The North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, otherwise known as NATO which includes three of the (self proclaimed) world's most powerful men (otherwise known as the three wise monkeys) namely David Cameron, Barak Obama and Nicholas Sarkozy have ordered that "Gaddafi must go!"
Because Ireland is not a major player in NATO, it has decided to launch its own operation to make Gaddafi 'go'. This was achieved when four members of the Tipperary SAS led by Captain Jack O' Lantern were deployed to a restaurant in Tripoli where they worked undercover in the kitchens.
Following two days observation by Sgt Paddy O'Rourke, they managed to identify a favourite restaurant used by Col Gaddafi and decided to lay in wait for the right moment.
O'Rourke (27) told In Seine News: "once the surveillance was completed, we were free to administer the highly volatile cocktail that was sure to make Gaddafi 'go'. We were not entirely sure where he last went but all we needed was photographic evidence of when he did go so that NATO would know when to stop bombing the Benghazi khazies."
"One of my colleagues, Lance bombardier Padraig O'Malley spent the morning installing surveillance equipment in the stalls including CCTV cameras and extremely sensitive microphones - the trap was set!"
"As sure as eggs is eggs, Gaddafi turned up for his midday meal and the two chefs served him up and apparent new delicacy called a 'Tripoli trifle' which contained dates, rhubarb, pineapple and figs. This portion was gratefully received along with an aperitif - the Sub-Saharan Sledgehammer' - a Cocktail of camel milk, syrup of figs, a dash of malt whiskey and only hint of creme de menthe, served with ice and a slice under the shade of a small cocktail umbrella."
"Within 10 minutes, his Excellency excused himself from the table and headed towards the gents. The lads were so excited because we actually had filmed footage of Gaddafi going - he was 'dropping a load over China'. What's more we also had a sound recording from the 'Thunderpan'. The lads were considering putting the film clip on YouTube but really could not agree on what title to use; would it be: 'Going, Going, Gone', 'Gone with the Wind' or 'Tales from a Tripoli Throne'"
"We can most certainly say that thanks to the Irish SAS, Gaddafi DID 'go'- Now what's next?"
If you find yourself in trouble and would like some help, if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Irish SAS!