Vatican City - Pope Benedict XVI stumbled out to his papal balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square, and gave some exciting news to the world today. The stoned pope proclaimed that Palm Sunday has been upgraded to Weed Sunday. Roman Catholics are urged to smoke marijuana on Weed Sunday, and to read the Bible!
The pontiff shared some very exciting new biblical research with the public, about the true meaning of the Easter season and Weed Sunday.
"Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey after doing some bong hits with the Apostles. The people there met the Lord with marijuana leaves--not palm leaves! Jesus then hung around Jerusalem for a few days, smoking weed, and listening to Pink Floyd." said the red-eyed pontiff.
The pope noted that smoking palm leaves was a waste of time, and didn't give much of a buzz.
"Don't smoke the palm leaves anymore. I've tried smoking them, and it only gave me a headache. Smoke weed, just like Jesus did." ordered the pope.
"The true meaning of the Easter season is that weed is good! Devout Roman Catholics should celebrate Hash Wednesday, Weed Sunday, Good Weed Friday and Weedster Sunday. Enjoy!"