Written by Jim Jones
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Tuesday, 12 April 2011

image for Japanese Nuclear Crisis Has Spawned Godzilla

Tomoyuki Tanaka, the creator of Godzilla, was apparently predicting the future in his landmark film. It has been reported that a pet iguana whom resided in a nuclear power plant office, and ironically was named "Gojira" after the iconic movie monster, has morphed into a thirty foot tall goliath and walked into the sea on his two rear feet. No word on if he can read fire yet.

On his death bed Tomoyuki Tanaka wrote a letter and had it sealed before anyone had read it. He told friends and family that they would know when the time comes to open it. The note simply stated My movie is a vision of the future. The time will come.

CNN's Jim Brown was on the scene covering the nuclear melt down when Gojira emerged from the second reactor earlier this morning, "All of a sudden we heard a rumbling and them bam! The whole side of the building that houses the second reactor exploded! We thought for sure it was another hydrogen build up, but sure enough a thirty foot iguana slithered out."

Subsequently, Jim Brown and the Japanese crew members argued over whether Gojira was thirty feet, or 10 meters, long.

The beast ignored the workers and beelined for the ocean. While wading into the water, it is reported that he began standing on his two rear feet.

Researchers at the University of Tokyo have begun building an "oxygen destroyer," the device used to kill Godzilla in the original movie. So far initial tests are promising.

Reportedly, the U.S. government is trying to create a giant radioactive gorilla. U.S. Secertary of Defense Robert Gates apparently believes that only King Kong will be able to defeat Godzilla. The project has been named the "King Kong in Manhattan Project," no word on if experiments are taking place in Manhattan, or if future plans call for the beast to be released in the Big Apple.

Apparently no one has yet told him that King Kong only won in the American version of the film, but lost in the Japanese release.

This reporter would like to take a moment to wish all the best to the Japanese people, and the brave workers working to prevent another nuclear disaster.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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