Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Friday, 8 April 2011

image for Japan's radiation poses no risk to health.
More deadly that radiation.

Scientists are warning they may have underestimated the health risks associated with smoking cigarettes. They say there is evidence to show even minor contact with the toxins found in cigarette smoke, such as what has been referred to as passive smoking, could lead to leukemia and many different forms of cancer sometimes twenty or even thirty years later.

They point out this is supported by the recent realization that the human body is far more resistant to radiation than had been believed, with even high levels of radiation spreading all around the globe from Japan's nuclear meltdown posing no health risks whatsoever. The scientific evidence apparently suggests it would need to be a trillion
times more than what has currently been reached before it could cause even sunburn like damage to people with pale skin.

Many deaths attributed to radiation contamination in the past, such as those who died years later after coming into contact with radiation from the nuclear accident in Russia at Chernobyl in 1986, are now believed to have been caused by tobacco smoke inhalation given that it is known that many Russians were heavy smokers back then and that the levels of radiation they were exposed to could not possibly have been sufficient to cause the sort of conditions they went on to present many years later.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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