Written by Aspartame Boy
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Sunday, 3 April 2011

image for Ridiculous measures taken at Fukushima reactors
This roll of paper is being flushed into the crack

Fukushima - According to an anonymous source working at the reactor, known only as Terryachyshumo Gansakifushimi, Tokyo Electric Power is resorting to ridicules measures to block a cracked reactor here.

Tepco is flushing into this leak:

  1. Styrofoam cups from the Fukushima break room
  2. Sawdust off the floor of a Kobi beef butcher shop
  3. Old copies of TheSpoof
  4. Those weekly coupon fliers that everyone finds stuffed in their mail boxes
  5. Radioactive wild boars from Germany

in an heroic attempt to end the crisis.

If these measures do not suffice, Tepco is going to convert the site into a giant barbecue pit and roast Kobe cows whole. The meat will then be sold to raise money to build more nuclear power plants along the beaches of Japan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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