UN arms inspector David Kay has released his findings in the comedic search for Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. The investigation, sought by President Bush, has indicated that WMDs are literally everywhere you look across the country.
Dr. Kay's brief included the following snippets:
"The first place we went to when we arrived in Iraq, was the nearest bar. Whilst ordering my Budweiser, a man in a donkey jacket tried to sell me some Ricin that he had in a thermos. Upon declining, he indicated that I was clearly a gentleman of good taste and took me round to see the wares in his truck. The truck was sorted into sections - at the back was green-glowing nuclear material. At either sides, he indicated, were rocket delivery systems, and in the middle there was a pile of cylinders filled with just about every chemical and biological agent I could wish for."
"Upon my travels around Iraq, it seems that each household stores some kind of WMD...sometimes in the form of a chair-leg, sometimes a missle forms the family dining table. I even found one child using a vial of Mustard Gas as a pacifier, along with a local bakers shop which made WMD pies."
Mr Kay's report is still being pored over by the White House, and President Bush is expected to make a fool of himself later today.