Prof Jacob Snot, from the Nuclear Energy watchdog 'Look the Other Way', sponsored secretly by the nuclear family, has been reassuring everyone that that there was no need to worry about radioactivity levels emanating from the Fuckin Nuclear Station in Japan.
'You get more radioactivity by shoving a banana up your arse than you will from all the Fuckin radioactivity' he declared.
Asked about the dangers to the fishing industry in Japan from radioactivity at three million times the danger level in the sea nearby, Snot assured everyone that if the fish were well cooked they would be unlikely to give you radiation sickness.
However Snot did advise mothers not to feed their children with fish mixed with local milk as this could lead to genetic malfunction and cancer in very rare instances.
Snot believes that after all the current fuss is over people will realise that the nuclear future is the best way forward. 'We have learnt all the lessons in providing safe nuclear energy. If this is the worst experience we can face then we shall have no problems in the future. But don't forget to peel the bananas before shoving them up your arse.'