London - Police reckon royal fruitcake Prince Charles is behind a multilayered wedding cake bomb intercepted at Manama Airport.
Bahraini customs officers said today they became suspicious because the Victoria sponge and semtex confection was festooned with Libyan postage stamps bearing Prince Charles' likeness.
It arrived on a chartered jet from Heathrow just hours after the Bahraini Emir blackballed William and Kate's wedding following a Westmonster Abbey seating slight.
This would have seen him and his 50 lardarse wives sandwiched between Great Train robber Ronnie Biggs and Margaret Thatcher in the Abbey's equivalent of the three-and-sixpennies (don't ask!)
King Hammered (sick) immediately pulled out on security grounds and his seating allocation has now been spread among 'the needy'.
Bahraini bomb squad officers said this afternoon the 8ft x 6ft nuptial gateau was festooned with gold leaf icing bearing Charles' heraldic crest of three white Dodo feathers and an IRA detonator.
They carried out a controlled explosion at a remote Bahraini desert location which saw over 200lbs of Dodgy Originals pastry smother the landscape with toxic goo.
Experts from Fukishima's National Poisons Laboratory are helping with the clean-up.