Tokyo, Japan - Two major developments suggest that the situation in Japan may be even more grave than previously admitted.
First, emergency workers from the damaged nuclear power plant have been sent to major airports, where they are ordered to stand in a row beside runways. Their glowing bodies are providing the light to guide incoming aircraft on their landing approach.
"Our supply of electricity to power runway lights is diminished" Admitted one official reluctantly. "So we are using what we have...the heroic workers are allowing us to conserve power and still maintain safe landing operations at night."
Even more disturbing are reports that Godzilla has briefly appeared, rising out of the sea close to the site of the troubled nuclear power plant.
"I was outside draining the contaminated water from my boots" said Kendo Suzuki. I was looking out towards the sea, when the Godzilla began rising up, slowly. At first, I thought it might be another tsunami, and I was frightened. Then I saw his eyes, and I was even more frightened. His eyes were like glowing red fire--the same way your feet look after soaking in radioactive water. You could tell that he was angry. He roared. It was terrible, a sound I will never forget. He slowly slipped back beneath the waves. As he disappeared, he sent me a telepathic message. 'You were warned, but did not learn. I'll be back' is the though he placed in my mind."
Several others in the area had similar reports. Some say it's simply the product of drinking too much sake. However, it has been confirmed that Japanese naval vessels have been dispatched to the area, lending credence to the reports.