Tokyo - Feral geigers were spotted by Ms. Yukurtanklingashi of 30024E 3256th St in Tokyo early this morning. Geigers are not usually visible as they are so small. According to Ms. Yukurtanklingashi, these geigers were the size of cats but glowing green, like kryptonite in a Superman movie. Geigers can be especially dangerous around radiation.
This afternoon, Dr. Fukusukupashi of the JAEC clarified the situation.
He stated, "The increased neutron beams have caused the geigers to grow in size and number. Our geiger counters are registering off the charts. Quite truthfully, we have lost track of the actual count of the geigers. We now advise everyone in Japan to stay indoors to avoid them. Furthermore, it is extremely important to ... "
As Mr. Fukusukupashi was finishing his sentence, a pack of feral geigers attacked him and ate him. The geigers were last seen headed towards the YMCA.