TRIPOLI, Libya - The word on the shell-casing strew streets of Tripoli is that Dictator Colonel Moammar "The Towel" Gadhafi is secretly finalizing plans to leave Libya and move out to Hollywood with his wife of 40 years, the attractive and extremely obedient Safia.
An aide, who is very close to the 68-year-old Gadhafi, and who spoke on grounds of anonymity stated that his boss is just fed up with the way that the United States, England, France, and Dutch West Wakaboonka have all ganged up on his country, which he said sadly no longer has any more fighter planes that are 'flyable.'
Colonel Gadhafi said that at first he toyed with the idea of going on eBay and purchasing some more fighter planes, but then he figured that they would probably just end up getting all shot to hell like the other 113 fighter jets of his ex-air force.
The unnamed aid, whose initials are Z.Q. divulged that Colonel Gadhafi' son, 27-year-old Khamis Karl "The Camel Toe" Gadhafi will fill his father's dictatorial sandals. (no pun intended).
When K.K., as he was called in high school, was asked how he plans to fight the 'invaders' he looked down at his father's sandals and said that he has devised a 'Game Plan' that he will be implementing that he learned about from reading the autobiography of former Oakland Raider's football coach John Madden.
The younger Gadhafi said that the only thing he would reveal is that the game plan includes a lot of "Boom! Boom! and Boom!
K.K.'s dad will also be turning over to his son complete control of his camel breeding service, which is how he went from being as poor as dirt (sand) to becoming Libya's first billionaire.
Colonel Gadhafi did inform a reporter for France's Le News Agency that he had recently received a text message from Chuck Lorre, Charlie Sheen's old boss asking him to fly out to Hollywood and audition for the vacant part on Two and A Half Men.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Earlier this year Moammar Gadhafi appeared in an episode of the hit show The Vampire Diaries and the ratings of that particular episode went through the roof.]
Gadhafi stated that Chuck Lorre, who is the shows creator, writer, and producer, said that if he is hired he will start him off at $45,000 a week, which is a lot of money, for say a teacher, a secretary, or a mechanic, but a far cry from the $1.8 million a week that Charlie "Tiger Blood" Sheen was making.
A spokesperson for CBS, the network that telecasts the hit show stated that they have already thought about possible titles for the new show, should Gadhafi in fact pass the audition and be hired to replace Sheen.
Two high-ranking network officials are leaning towards, One and A Half Men and One Crazy-Ass Libyan Colonel.
Colonel Gadhafi's favorite American shows are The Vampire Diaries, Modern Family, The Price Is Right, and of course Two and A Half Men.