Written by Charpa93

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Topics: optimism, positive

Friday, 25 March 2011

image for Losers Claim Win-Win Just a Ploy
Mary Dimpleknickers blew her chances of becoming the first woman Beefeater

Losers around the world are waking up today to the sad realization that regardless of what they've been told in school and the workplace, the win-win scenario just doesn't exist. "It's a ploy," said Winton Gardensalad from Montauk, NY. "I played along for most of my life and look where it's gotten me," he said from the sad little 8 x 10 room he calls home at the Happy-go-Lucky Retirement Center.

Gardensalad and millions like him say they would love to blow the cover of the win-win folks, but they simply don't have a clue as to who they might be. More importantly, most losers say they just don't have the gumption. "Oh, I tried to grab life by the balls many a time," he said, "but I got bit in the ass too many times and finally just said the hell with it."

Many others are telling similar stories. "Oh yeah, I hear opportunity knocking all right," said Mary Dimpleknickers, "but befefore I can even get the door all the way open, it slams shut in my face. Win-win just doesn't exist."

Dimpleknickers says she even dished out a bunch of money to attend a leadership conference. "Things were going well until someone said to me 'positive and negative are directions. Which direction do you choose?' I chose down."

Said Gardensalad, "When you experience your first win-lose situation, you may as well resign yourself to the fact that lose-lose is just around the corner."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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