Written by Aspartame Boy
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Friday, 25 March 2011

image for Feral babies raid Tokyo liquor stores
This discarded bottle of whiskey was found in a yellow trail of slime

Tokyo - According to the Tokyo police, several packs of screaming babies have invaded Tokyo liquor stores, crawling off with bottles of liquor.

The strange behavior is thought to result from the combination of yellow rain, lack of water to make baby formula, and general tension in the city.

Mr. Kertanclinga, of Tokyo was an eye-witness to a pack of 30 feral babies crawling into the Sukalika Liquor Store in central Tokyo. He gave this starling account:

"I could not believe how large and angry the babies had grown. They had the yellow residue from the yellow rain all over them. I think it turned them into monsters. They just grabbed bottles of liquor and crawled out with them, leaving a yellow trail of slime behind them. I was so upset I had to have an aspartame laced beverage to calm me down. Now I don't care about it."

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