Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Earth, Humans

Thursday, 24 March 2011

image for Human Race Applauded for Somehow Getting Through One Day
It Is a Mystery How the Hell They're Still Here

EARTH - The 6.9bn human beings on the planet today managed, against all the odds, to survive.

Humans, who are remarkable at not somehow screwing themselves over, messing shit up, will live to suck another day.

Today, the human race managed not to tear itself apart, amidst riots, social injustice, war, rapes, and Inhopeless's exams.

"Wow," said Inhopeless. "Just... wow. It seems that the planet just managed to tick over, again, and again. For another day. How the hell did it manage to do that?"

Humans, who have somehow managed to survive, which carries a great honour, will resume their daily lives without relenting, including office workers, soldiers, nurses, doctors, protesters, and other occupations.

"It's pretty fucking amazing," said Dr. Reed, a social scientist, "how the hell are we doing this? We should've killed each other by now? What the..."

The human race had shown incredible restraint, according to a UN report, in not making itself implode or doing other stupid things.

When surveyed, many of the resident population of the planet simply shrugged their shoulders and moved on ahead, without fear that tomorrow they could not be around.

As of press time, humans in Japan were praised for the courage to get on with everything.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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