Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 24 March 2011

image for Twitter Bird Killed By House Cat
Ginger Just Before Killing The Twitter Bird

Philadelphia, PA - The little blue Twitter bird is dead. It was slain today by a house cat named Ginger. The little Twitter bird was in a garden pecking at the keyboard of an open laptop when Ginger pounced on it.

"Tweet, tweet" said the Twitter bird, just before it died.

The sudden death of the Twitter bird caused mayhem throughout the world. Major stock market crashed, several revolutions broke out, and a nuclear war developed in the Mideast, minutes after the bird's untimely death. The Internet went completely blank.

Ginger the cat was delighted with herself for killing the Twitter bird. She ate its head and tore off its arms in an orgy of feline pleasure. Ginger left a few scraps for the worms to eat and purred with contentment. After her nice snack, she ran back inside her house, to see what the humans were doing.

Back inside Ginger's house there was much consternation. The nuclear war in the Mideast was blossoming into World War III, and all the humans were watching TV and panicking. Ginger purred with great delight, and settled down for a nice nap.

"Tweet, tweet." said the Twitter bird's head one last time before being digested.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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