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Saturday, 19 March 2011

image for Spooky equinoctial death of Knut the bi-polar bear
RIP Knut

Germany - The four year-old polar fluffball died mysteriously in his Berlin Zoo compound just hours before the Vernal Equinox.

The heartbreaking demise has shocked zoo officials, some of whom are still reeling from the unexpected sudden death of his handler Thomas Dörflein at the age of 44.

The zookeeper had a heart attack on 22 September 2008 - a few hours before the Autumn Equinox.

"Primeval lunar forces are at work here," the animal house's resident astrologer commented this afternoon.

"We always felt Knut was inconsolable when Dörflein died and it was only a matter of a few more lunar cycles before Knut joined him in Bear Heaven."

Coincidentally enough the great Bear constellation Ursa Major was seen rising above the horizon just before Dörflein's death - as well as that of Knut, earlier today.

Angela Merkel is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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