Tokyo, Japan - In a desperate move, the Japanese Prime Minister has ordered that thousands of tons of marijuana be dropped into the burning nuclear reactors at Fukushima. Giant puffs of gray smoke can now be seen, billowing out of the damaged reactors. Now, a giant cloud of radioactive marijuana smoke is expected to drift over the Northern Hemisphere all next week.
Prime Minister Doo Bee said it seemed the only thing to do to calm the world's nerves:
"We expect the worst to happen, but at least everyone will be stoned, so it won't really matter." said the PM.
As the marijuana burns on the radioactive nuclear core, it becomes much more potent. Only a few molecules of the smoke is enough to bring on intoxication. The buzz lasts for a week. Atmospheric scientists say a cloud of radioactive marijuana smoke could hit the West Coast 'any minute now.'
"Just enjoy the smoke, free and from Japan. Just lie down, and pretend that everything will be all right..." said Mr. Doo Bee. "Put on some Led Zeppelin, and just forget..."