Written by j.w.
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Topics: France, Condoms

Thursday, 17 March 2011

image for French Letters Banned in France
Luxury Condoms Banned in Bordeaux

French letters, otherwise known as condoms, have been banned by a Court in Bordeaux near the French town of Condom.

This is because the residents of the town object to a descendant of King Louis XIV using their town to promote the condoms.

These 'luxury eco-friendly prophylactics' are described by the manufacturers as a 'sophisticated condom'. However the French image is somewhat blurred because the condoms are, in fact, made in Malaysia, where they are more often described as 'rubbers'.

Misunderstandings have plagued these luxury condoms. First philatelists having seen a mistranslation of 'prophylactics' have descended on Condom seeking rare stamps. Even an importer of goods from Malaysia expecting rubber was amazed to find the luxury condoms instead. 'They look weird rubber bands to me' said a Post Office employee who was tying up his letters. 'These letters do not even come from France!'

The descendant of Louis XIV - Baron Humping of Aches in the Provence - who is responsible for the condoms is delighted with the publicity. 'We only service the very best pricks' he declared 'not one of our beauties has broken whilst in service. People forget they are wearing them because they are as light as a feather.'

A special 'Guillotine Condom' is planned which, it is claimed, will be 'head and shoulders' above the ordinary product. 'We hope to penetrate the market with a new French experience' said the Baron.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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