Written by Tawdry Soup

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Topics: Japan, Whale

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Numerous Pods of minke and sperm whales were spotted off the coast of Japan today, making loud spouting noises and squeals of excitement as they received updates about the ongoing Japanese disaster from Kelly, the equally excited one-legged seagull.

A spokesman for the whales, a tough old bull known affectionately as Dick, told Tawdry Soup they were delighted to see humans run to and fro in an agonizing panic as forces out of their control destroyed them and their livelihoods.

"It's delightful, really," said Dick. "Watching a thousand years of environmental terrorism blow up in their faces. I only wish all the generations of whales laid open at the hands of the Japanese whaling industry, or what they now call "scientific research," could see this. But I guess we better get outta here before that leaking radiation turns the calf waiting inside of big momma over there into a real Godzilla."

In a symbolic gesture, the whales flipped-off the island with their tails and headed toward open water. Kelly the seagull, along with his friends, returned to the island where they swarmed over the beach to pick over the discarded remains of the disaster.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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