Written by queen mudder
Print this
Topics: Jesus, Japan

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

image for Jesus wept! Japan's very own 'Merovingian' line blames tremor on apostasy
Eat yer heart out, Dan Brown, the Japanese got there before you

Aomori Prefecture, Japan - Prepare for an imminent Imperial Abdication to atone for failures in the Sendai earthquake horror.

That's the message today from descendants of Jesus and local Shingo girl Miyuko who say last Friday's 8.9 quake was predicted by the Messiah, buried locally alongside his brother Isukiri.

The Herai clan has also warned that Japan is on the brink of total wipeout following millenia of Imperial apostate dishonor of the sacred lineage.

Their claims form part of ancient Japanese legend that Jesus fled from Jerusalem and came to Aomori where he married, became a rice farmer and had three lovely daughters.

Imperial recognition of the Jesus dynasty was never in the frame because Japan's emperors were a smug and conceited lot, ever vying to our-God the Almighty.

The row eventually boiled over in 1935 when Jesus' Last Will & Testament documents were discovered in Japan, sending shockwaves through the Imperial Heisai dynasty.

Emperor Hirohit-ho is said to have personally ordered the papers' destruction, although this was partially foiled by a copy of the papers made by lineage descendants.

A sneak preview of the documents is unequivocal: perpetuation of the cover-up was forseen by the Messiah who predicted Japan's catastrophe in the face of the nation's denial.

Princess Masako is daft as a brush.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 1?

2 4 5 10
35 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more