Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Monday, 14 March 2011

image for Burger King Boss Says British Women Are Ugly
Better than fish'n'chips?

Burger King chief executive, Bernard Hees, has described British women as ugly and British food as terrible.

Although a spokesman for the chain later said Mr Hees regretted the unguarded comments - made to a group of Chicago students - the fall-out is already apparent.

Sales at the BK branch in Chiswick High Road, west London, are exected to drop so dramatically that it closed more than five years ago in anticipation.

Macdonalds now corners the market in rubbish American fast food in the leafy suburb.

London chef, Lidell Pegboard, told us: "Sorry - come again? The guy who runs Burger King thinks British food is rubbish...." before almost choking with laughter and being rushed to hospital. It is expected his Knightsbridge restaurant, Top Expensive Nosh, will re-open tomorrow.

Broadcaster and women's issues campaigner Araminta Wallet added: "British women are the most beautiful in the world - not that it matters. And if he wants to talk about ugly - have you seen the arses (I gather they call them 'fannies') on some of those Yank bints?

"My God! I've been to Chicago and I've seen what burgers and ribs can do to the female rear. I once had to sit between two of them on the 'L' and I nearly suffocated. Scary!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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