As Japan today recovers from its devastating earthquake and subsequent tsunami, people are beginning to ask questions about how and why this could have happened.
Professor Sunichi Robotifuki of the University of Tokyo spoke to the press today through his robotic personal assistant, Roboto.
Roboto said, "We think the whales are to blame. We know they have been researching earthquake technology for some time. We know this because our own research found plans for a giant earthquake machine. This was discovered within the belly of one huge but delicious whale we caught last year."
When asked what the Japanese were planning to do about these aggressive "terrorist" whales, Roboto said, "We must detonate one of our nuclear power stations to create a Godzilla monster, which we can then send to defeat the whales and destroy their earthquake machine they have built at the bottom of the sea."
"If that doesn't work, then we will have to build a giant karaoke machine and put it inside a submarine. Whales love karaoke. We know because our researchers found a karaoke CD within the belly of a very tasty lady whale we caught last year."