MIAMI - Scientific and oceanographic experts at the highly prestigious Moby Dick Institute For the Study of Oceanographic Graphical Occurrences are stating that the magnitude of the March 11 Japanese earthquake is so powerful that it will have devastating affects that will be felt throughout the entire world.
Dr. Tucucari Purplespoon stated that to show exactly how powerful this earthquake is he said to just image having Kirstie Alley, David Crosby, Wynonna Judd, Gabourey Sidibe, John Goodman, and Conchata Ferrell all jumping on top of that skinny-assed Ann Coulter at the same time.
Dr. Purplespoon said that the only thing left of the GOP mouthpiece would probably be a little bit of her mouth since everyone knows she has one of the biggest, nastiest, most vulgar mouths in the civilized world.
The doctor went on to say that the tsunami will have such far-reaching affects that even penguins living in the most remotest parts of the South Pole will take note and say to their fellow penguins, "Dammit, dude, WHAT the hell was that?"
The Asiatic Water Watching and Monitoring Coalition based in Hong Kong, China has just issued a news bulletin stating that when the giant tsunami wave hits South Korea it will hit with such a devastating force that South Korea will end up on top of North Korea.
The AWWMC stated that they know that this sounds highly improbable and unbelievable but all one needs to do is to go into the Internet and look up the Central American country of Guatemala and see that prior to El Gigantic Tsunami of 1793, there was a South Guatemala and a North Guatemala.
Dr. Tucumcari Purplespoon graduated Cumma Sum Ipso from The Oklahoma City Academy of Aquatics. He has a Masters Degree in Barnacle Identification and a Bachelor's Degree in Sperm Whale Breeding.