It is true. The Royal Wedding has indeed been called off. Now before you cancel your hotel bookings and days off work, please take time to read the rest of this amazing story.
Read it to the end and you will learn a lot about the customs of other cultures. Britain, America and Canada, the UK and EU and the whole of the rest of world do not exist in isolatation.
So it is not THAT Royal Wedding that has been called off but the wedding of Princess Akoonagania of the Ookycoochy tribe in Western Africanistralia.
Her father, King Rabitswanibawli refused to give her hand in marriage to an American actor named Charlie Sheen.
King Rabiswanibawli was delivered a message this morning stating that "this man is not to be trusted with 'anyone's' hand in marriage, never mind that of a Princess." King Rabitswanibawli issued the following statement earlier today:
"Me not wanting me dorter to marry de scum of de erth ya knows. Ahs herd 'e already 'as two wiffies but 'asn't married 'em an all tha' an dat dem are not de best ov gerlz.
A tink A saw dem in a movie last week. No, not nice gerlz at all at all. One 'as very big arse or bum and the other 'as very teeny baby milkers."
When asked if he had sent a dowry to Charlie yet, King Rabitswanibawli answered, through clenched teeth,
"Blow me down with the plumage of a flying animal, A just sent it yestiddy. Five goats, tree camels, yes I DID say TREE camels coz dat's all A 'ad at de time, an' fifty sheepses.
'E 'ad better return ALL of dem bleeding dowry animals else 'e'll 'ave ME to answer to and that not be pretty bloody sight A tell you now."
We intend to keep you informed of the outcome of this unusual tale of 'cross-eyed' lovers.