Written by j.w.
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Topics: Theft

Saturday, 5 March 2011

image for Prison Break In
A picture of the stolen Television

Thieves have broken into a prison in New Zealand and stolen a large Plasma Television.

Prison Governor, Howard Lash, spoke of the 'heartless disregard' for the welfare of the prisoners shown by the thieves. 'We shall be having an enquiry into this embarrassing crime and we already suspect an inside job' he declared.

Local Police are appealing to anyone who saw people carrying a large television near the prison to come forward. 'Do not approach the thieves if they are seen, but ask them how it would feel for them if someone took their television.'

Prison Chaplain Rev Simon Curd said he was very upset by the theft. 'My prisoner flock will now be unable to see the service on Sunday and will have to rely on me to entertain them' he cried 'I will have to think of something to say. Thieves never think of their victims.'

In a phone call from a prison resident Jack Burgle I got a picture of the reign of terror at the prison. 'If my mobile phone goes next' he complained 'I will be lost. We can't trust anybody now. I thought we were safe from crime in here but our lives have been ruined by vicious, uncaring, cruel people. It is not fair.'

As the sun settled on the New Zealand horizon the All Blacks Rugby team gathered and agreed to play a charity match so the Television can be replaced as soon as possible.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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