Unhappy with the constant butchering of his name in the media, Muammar Al-Gaddafi, aka Moammar Gaddafi, Muammar Khaddafi, Moammar El-Gathafi, M. A. Kaddafy, El Cid, Pancho Villa, and Charlie Sheen today announced that he is changing his name to John Smith.
Tired of watching news reports in his native Libya and not realizing that the death threats he was cheering were actually being lobbed against him, Gaddafi said enough is enough and began the long and arduous process of changing his name in the Libyan court system.
Gaddafi claims that while he's at it, he is going to check what the procedure is to bump his military rank up from Colonel to at least Brigadier General. More than once, Gaddafi has complained that he thinks one of the main reasons why these uprisings continue to happen is because he doesn't have a bold enough title to command more respect.
Asked why he chose the name John Smith, Gaddafi claims that it has a nice ring to it and it will make it easier for him to get a new passport.