Los Angeles - Most of downtown Los Angeles was blacked out today after a behemoth fuse blew at a Los Angeles Power and Light transmission facility . An American-born member of Al-Quaida reportedly blew a fuse after his videotaped communique' threatening attacks on Sydney and Los Angeles was deemed "insufficiently terrifying" and virtually ignored by the media. Said Ginger Jenks, of the State Department, "The terror conflict is being fought in the media, and being ridiculed in the media is the same as losing."
The blackout came only moments after ABC stated that the videotape of a purported al-Qaida member making terrorist threats against Los Angeles and Melbourne, Australia was, in all likelihood, a hoax. "Some high school haji gets get a handicam, and just like Ferris Bueller, tries to scam a day off."
Approximately 2 million people were affected by the resulting outage. Rod "Sparky" Deacon, general manager of the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power said power was restored in about 2 1/2 hours after the fundamentalist was put on ice to cool down. "We connected the primary to a more moderate group of Muslim neighborhoods, and things started lighting back up.
"Hey, it cudda been a hurricane or a flood" said one LA driver, after giving the finger to another driver who pre-empted him as drivers alternated going through intersections without working traffic lights.
Since most cellphones were unaffected, and cars ran just fine, most people never noticed anything more than computers going blank, ATM's not working, and traffic lights out.
The videotape, aired on Sunday by ABC News, featured an American-sounding man with a concealed face whom officials believe to be Adam Yahiye Gadahn, an Islamic convert from Orange County.
Movie staffers and gaffers in Hollywood emailed Adam production tips including "next time, use a tripod," "lose the glasses, pull a softer focus, and try not to catch the boom mike in the picture." "Also," they added, "Having an AK-47 in the background is much more terrifying than a plain bedsheet."
The FBI says Gadahn trained at terrorist camps in Afghanistan after bombing out at UCLA. "Apparently, P-chem was too much for him and he lost it."