Written by Steddyeddy
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Monday, 28 February 2011

image for Irish election results in full, to be sure
Politics - it swallowed a watch

The results of the Irish election have been announced by a chap in a rather Irish accent, similar to Sir Bob Geldof's, but without the attitude. And without a couple of top ten music hits.

The outgoing government, led by Gerry Mander, saw their negative majority fall even further. In fact, it fell so far that they now have minus 23 members in the new parliament.

Gains were made by several minority parties, including the Father Ted Party, the Eat Your Greens (part of one of your 5 a day) Party, the Waterford Amateur Brick Throwing Party, the Provisional Labour Party and the Continuity Labour Party, to name but a few of the newcomers.

The new Prime Minister, Muiris B O'Coalition, said that his first task will be to decide what his first task will be, after which he intends to decide on a second task. He also - as near as makes to difference to admitting - said that there was a distinct possibility that he'd follow this all up with a third task. To be sure.

He said that tasks aside, the new government will be undertaking plenty of blue sky thinking, some thinking outside the box, a little bit of pushing the envelope, potentially a bit of ring-fencing, but more importantly and vitally for the failed economy, drinking plenty of Guinness from glasses that are completely full, as they had no intention of messing around with stupid half-empty/half-full euphemisms.

They'll also be seeking plenty of EU cash and subsidies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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