King Abdullah, ruler of Saudi Arabia, declared the government's new Let them eat cake policy today to an angry mob in the Saudi capital, Riyadh.
Every male Saudi Arabian subject will have a variety of delicious bakery goods to choose from.
King Abdullah stated, "No item is too good for my loyal subjects: Twinkies, Fruit Pies, Yodels, and Ding Dongs for all!"
Women, in this new policy, will have their bakery items chosen for them by the relevant male figure. Women without a husband, uncle, or brother will have the local imam decide for them.
Aabish Benghazi, Saudi Arabia's sole female rights activist, spoke against this new policy, "Why can't I choose between a Ding Dong or a Ring Ding?"
She was promptly apprehended by the police and taken to Stoning Square where she was stoned to death.
The Saudi government brushed away the accusations that the Let them eat cake policy is in response to the current unrest in the Middle East.
A confidential source close to the royal family is disgusted with the plan, "We are a very large country geographically speaking, and loading up the aircraft to carpet bomb outlying villages with baked goods seems like a waste of money. Dropping a Twinkie from 20,000 feet in the sky could ruin the delicate mix of cake and cream filling."