Written by Jack Melling
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Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Ladies man Silvio Berlusconi is set to launch a new super group called "Italian Mutant Dirty Perverts" for older men that have been accused of sleeping with prostitutes or escort girls.

The new group, based on the popular children's cartoon programme "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", has already began recruiting following fresh allegations that Mr Berlusconi slept with an underage escort girl.

Like the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", the "Italian Mutant Dirty Perverts" fight a common enemy, but rather than battling the evil Shredder or Krang, they instead fight liberal Italians, including the press, and feminists.

The new group even has a catchphrase based on the old cartoon series, instead of saying "Cowabunga", Berlusconi's crew says "Cowa bunga bunga", making reference to the infamous sex parties held by the Italian Prime Minister.

In a statement to the press, Berlusconi said, "I hava hada enough of youra disrespect. I ama forming a new super groupa for all my super coola friends where we can hava a gooda time with no-one sticking their noses in our business."

"I ama recruiting new people all the time and will be asking none of you to join, you liberal mother fuckers."

So far Berlusconi has invited other dirty old men to join his group, which includes UEFA boss Michel Platini and Head of FIFA Sepp Blatter. However, both have rejected the invitation as according to them "any respectable organisation charges at least £176 for entry."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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