Analysis of Libyan nuttiness have detected that Colonel Gaddafi has set the stage for what looks to be a very confrontational conclusion to the troubles in Libya.
The stage, in a 14,000-seat arena in Tripoli, has seen the delivery and erection of three large red neon "X's" and numerous lasers, and the reports of unnatural screeching noises from a local hotel that were scaring the wildlife and soldiers for miles around were identified by paparazzi as coming from Alexander Burke and Leona Lewis.
However, a close aide and brother-in-law of Colonel Gaddafi, George Galloway, (no relation to the cuddly, genial, friendly, racist oik we all know, love and 'respect'), confirmed that Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Cheryl Cole certainly were in Tripoli, accompanied by a special premium rate telephone number that local people cold use to vote for their favourite Arab despot to rule Libya.
A spokeswoman for the Libyan government, Orla Guerin (no relation to the cuddly, genial, friendly, racist oik-ess we all know and love) said that Colonel Gaddafi 'totally respected the value the X-Factor judges could bring to the table, and their ability to "nail" things "1000%" appealed to ministers and army generals alike'.
The Biffy Clyro song by Matt Cardle is now starting to become rather irritating.