Written by Roy Turse
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Tuesday, 22 February 2011

image for British Government Scrambles Plane "to Rescue Lockerbie Bomber from Libyan Riots"

With Colonel Gaddafi refusing to relinquish power in Libya and the country in danger of descending into civil war, the British Government issued a statement today that a rescue aircraft was being readied to fly to the region.

Although ministers refused to say exactly what the mission parameters were likely to be, this news site has learned from a reliable source that certain goals can be taken for granted.

For example, any rescue was likely to include an attempt to help Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, the convicted Lockerbie bomber who, on the grounds that he had only a few weeks to live, was released back to Libya two years ago. Our source told us: "Megrahi is extremely ill now, and we believe he may prefer to see out his remaining time in a more luxurious environment, like a UK prison."

The source went on to say that the rescue flight could also be used to fly Tony Blair and a team of emergency arms dealers into the area in order to help with the situation. "As soon as we know which side we are going to be on, we can make sure the people on the ground are getting the relief equipment they need, and in the correct caliber. It's a humanitarian gesture, and as such our payment terms will be generous."

"Until we know who's going to win," he told us, "we will have to hold off. In the meantime both sides in the conflict will just have to order on ukweaponry.web."

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